Effort

Posted: April 14, 2011 in Words In Progress

It seems like your memory has lost its mind

Being there for you is like a one-way street with a big, red stop sign at the end

No way in, no way out

With you, I feel like I fit, but no matter how hard I may try I still seem to stand out

Nothing I do will ever make you happy

Trying is bleeding me dry and sucking every morsel of soul that lies within my heart

I bludgeon myself trying to understand what I think I’m misunderstanding

You’ve become a part of my self, my flesh, my blood

And yet, I find no belonging within you, near you

Just around you, always

Trying in a worthless effort that holds no meaning to you

And no end to me

Standing beside you, holding your hand

Picking you up even when you’re not on the ground

Thinking of you even when you’re not around

Am I really misunderstanding or am I the one that’s misunderstood

This perilous path has no end

An unforgiving drowning of my every will

That wills me to do more

Were you ever really there?

Are you ever really here?

Is this just a test of time that I am predestined to fail?

The questions, of course, will never end

The answers, no doubt, will never be mine

I walk through this with my head held high

Believing like every other addict that I can let go whenever I decide

Knowing truthfully, only to myself, that the pain, in the end

Is the only real thing that I can trust, is the only real thing that will calm my mind.

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